Monday, June 28, 2010

Hallo world, well here it is my first blog. I am thinking that I would like this to be a personal journal of my experience as well as a platform to share my designing and painting on. I want to talk about the textiles I work with and maybe help others to learn a little more about sewing. Today I am not feeling well, the cancer is starting to bite, and I have a mild pain in my chest. I no longer have the patience to put up with people that don't inspire me, and work that I do not want to do. So I am richly blessed, as my life allows me to apply both these desires. I wonder if I will feel better again, or if this is the peak now, and I am starting the rapid decline. I wonder if it is a good idea to talk about my suffering and my thoughts? At one stage I talked to Francis or Nick about writing a book about what it has been like coming to terms with the fact that I have terminal cancer, and we thought maybe it would help others in the same situation. Would it be a nice thing to leave behind for those I love, to read over once I have gone? I always wanted to write a book, so this could be my way of doing that. I love my boys and Grant so much, the saddest part of dying is leaving them, and worrying about them, I don't mind so much that my life has been cut short, I don't hink being old is that much fun, and all I have to do is lie down and fall asleep, as I have always been a pretty lazy person, I do not think that will be that hard. I will think about it, or maybe not, maybe I will just put up whatever I feel like putting up on the day and my blog will just take form on its own. Well bye for now and I will talk more tomorrow, I thik my only commitment should be to write everyday.


  1. You have given me more than I can ever repay. Sometimes I wonder if you know that I know just how much you've sacrificed for me and how much I wish to honour you in every way that I can. But I can never repay you the love you have put into my soul... And still you regret perhaps not being there as long as we might want?

    Such a silly girl... There is no fear left in me you haven't silenced, no wound can be dealt to me that wont heal in knowing your love... So rest easy my precious. We all are so grateful to have had you in our lives at all. I hope this is the beginning of something great for you. I hope you can share yourself here! This website is immortal and a piece of you will remain here for generations to see.

    Perhaps readers will chance a glimpse of your wisdom, your passion, your beauty and your great big heart.

    Perhaps one day I will come here when I miss you.

    So write good!!! :P
    I love you

  2. I'm crying now, after reading that, and also cos I am a little sad already cos Sam's Dad passed away today, and its so sad and unfair and horrible, but that is life, it is intense, sadness and joy are woven together into this big wonderful thing that we call life and you just have to grab a hold of it with your strongest grip and live each moment in the state of highest appreciation that you can because each moment has so much to offer if you are just open to it, sadness is a beautiful thing too.

  3. I am so proud to be a part of a clan that has you as a part ...... Chris