Hallo world, well here it is my first blog. I am thinking that I would like this to be a personal journal of my experience as well as a platform to share my designing and painting on. I want to talk about the textiles I work with and maybe help others to learn a little more about sewing. Today I am not feeling well, the cancer is starting to bite, and I have a mild pain in my chest. I no longer have the patience to put up with people that don't inspire me, and work that I do not want to do. So I am richly blessed, as my life allows me to apply both these desires. I wonder if I will feel better again, or if this is the peak now, and I am starting the rapid decline. I wonder if it is a good idea to talk about my suffering and my thoughts? At one stage I talked to Francis or Nick about writing a book about what it has been like coming to terms with the fact that I have terminal cancer, and we thought maybe it would help others in the same situation. Would it be a nice thing to leave behind for those I love, to read over once I have gone? I always wanted to write a book, so this could be my way of doing that. I love my boys and Grant so much, the saddest part of dying is leaving them, and worrying about them, I don't mind so much that my life has been cut short, I don't hink being old is that much fun, and all I have to do is lie down and fall asleep, as I have always been a pretty lazy person, I do not think that will be that hard. I will think about it, or maybe not, maybe I will just put up whatever I feel like putting up on the day and my blog will just take form on its own. Well bye for now and I will talk more tomorrow, I thik my only commitment should be to write everyday.